Random Thoughts

Another wonderful day just rolled by but the reminiscence of the one I share my union with, remained nudging me over n over.

How is it with this whole spectrum of feelings in my head, I still find time to breathe. Maybe, she prays for my life or maybe my heart is determined to fill the silence between my heart beats with hers. How will that sound, so singular, be: a tap, a jingle or a melody?

And so, in the never-ending hours of night when moon counts longing eyes,  I asked my stars of our union. They spoke:
Oh! Sleepless one, forget not the fortune to burn for the twinkle of those brown eyes. For remember how generously they had bathed you;
how they flung open your pores to the gates to heaven.
And how those countless drops of love while flowing through your body, reminded you of a rain on a forbidden desert.
Listen yet not to Sanity, for your lips are not misguided to wait for that wine, fermented in the cup of the immortal rose leaves.
For when she pours that elixir on you, only then can you live, even in the stillness between your heart-beats.

… A little too personal to be blogging this, no?

My STRANGE status

Weird the phase it may sound but I accept with all my wisdom that I have never been so much unsure about my path as I am today. I used to laugh at my misery and so was put to test. I am indulging into things which are making me feel that I am the only one doing so and hence pushing me more away from my world towards the quoted ‘My world’ . I used to feel great about the mask of happy go lucky bond, but now I want to peel it off my face. I wan to cry, complain and be sad and not to be asked about it. I know sorrow will be out of business soon as I am soon going to learn How to feel great with it.

Desires are screwing my life. Why the fuck can’t I be satisfied with all the good things around. I have family, friends and well wishers. You know I have everything but nothing. I am so scared of companionship after the loss of relationships that mattered to me that I am bringing myself to believe being lonely is being happy. The only scoop here is I have been quiet social all my life and I love the world around me. Now to become a monk is bit difficult task considering that I don’t like cool places, I don’t drink and do drugs. Further I feel responsible towards the people around me and their expectation from me. So practicing the most selfish art would have been great thing to do if I had born in Jupiter or even Sun.

The only thing which gives me happiness is to love, I just wish to do two things First is to bring up kids so many of them and Second is to watch my girl sleeping with sun dimming from her glow . Now this seems very simple, if I take out my fears regarding the companionship after completely strange past relationships. Also, the ones my soul approves are the one I can’t have. Either GOD has given them a better match than I am or I just can’t have for the disaster I m. Thank you Almighty for making me unique:). Also the wish to adopt has made me more unwanted. Our law doesn’t provide girl child to single man for adoption. With very few like minded around me, my match is getting rare. Above all, I am looking for an equally crazy person I am Someone who is beyond the matrimonial definition of most of the girls- tall, fair, slim, homely, convent educated, earning in six figures…

The add-ons to my sufferings are the dissolving of the close people around me to non existence. Past six months I have seen more deaths than I could have ever imagined. Death to me is like a foot print in a muddy ground, a hollow ‘marked’ space. The recent death of Sir Anil (I loved calling him Acche sirji) at so young age left another foot print on the mud ground which is getting big with every departure. I miss you Acche Sir.I wish I could do something to save you. The only future which all of us can predict – DEATH has never been so close to me as it is today. It is dark, mighty, painful, everywhere, unavoidable and also the saviour. Death is the only cocktail which is a new revealing with every sip.

Below are the views in the form of a poem from Rumi , a poet from balkh (This is translated by Coleman barks)..

On the day I die

On the day I die, when I am being carried
toward the grave, don’t weep. Don’t say,

He’s gone ! He is gone. Death has nothing
to do with going away. The sun sets and

the moon sets, but they are not gone.
Death is a coming together. The tomb

looks like a prison, but it’s really a
release into union. The human seed goes

down in the ground like a bucket into
the well where Joseph is. It grows and

comes up full of some unimagined beauty.
Your mouth closes here and immediately

opens with a shout of joy there…

My only reaction to it is a line from an Indian poet ‘ Galib’ whose reaction towards Heaven was ” Dil behlaanay kay liye, Galib yeh khayal acha hai”

Hello world!

….As i am PRONE to get bothered, influenced, tongue tied, awe struck with TECHNOLOGY….Blog wasn’t a sur-PRIZE (unlike writing it)..I love writing as all the Bloggers do in the LOW ten list….I love being on TOP upside or downside…After getting inspired from Bloggers and after getting influenced by (DING) DANG (Bracketolography of DANG is what i intend to write next- provided i do get the time to know her), i finally sat down to create another blog (FYI I am with the name of EXAMPLER-BLOG in blogger since ages with out a single feather of posting) ..An appropriate Name is always the HULK when it comes to me to name any of MY creation….To prove that i do put a lot of not at all needed effort in choosing names, let me tell you my previous PLAYFULNESS with names -The first in the list is Heavensdevil (i don’t even remember the right reason as i was a kid when i Declared mysel heavensdevil) Second is Renamed (as it was what i wanted most at that time),third Exampler ( it was difficult as i wanted to name my org after it.so was hardest as if playing one to one against Arsenal’s coach), Fourth is byronic lucifer (i believe he was(could be’IS’) my doppleganger in a certain UNSPECIFIC and non-explanatory way..He was(could be’IS’) many things that i am (Vague, Stupid, Funny, Adamant, Rebellious, Angel (worshipped and believed in GOD like no-one ever did- I do am still very much a GOD fearing)…Fifth is Bracketologist..After gadabout on all the not so necessary things and wasting your not at all PRECIOUS time (why else you would visit my blog), let me bring you back to WHY on earth did i chose this Blog name (another not so important thing to know.just for the sake of killing your some more already misused time.allow me to introduce you to WHY). Actually Bractetologist is everything which i am NOT(ALert- that doesn’t mean that i always want to be be something which i am not). Crudely or say originally The term is picked up from BASKET with two ballS. Jokes afart Bracketology is the process of predicting the field of the NCAA basketball tournament, named as such because it is commonly used to fill in tournament brackets for the postseason. But if i manipulate it a bit to more GLOBAL general usage “Bracketology the practice of parsing people, places, and things into discrete one-on-one matchups to determine which of the two is superior or preferable works because it is simple. It is a system that helps us make clearer and cleaner decisions about what is good, better, best in our world. What could be simpler than breaking down a choice into either/or, black or white, this one or that one?” But still this definition doesn’t make me bracketologists …though it URGES me to become one..So here is how i chose this YET to be defined name for the Blog of a yet to be defined person..

Don’t you worry all the guys (yet to be men), gals(yet to be Woman), Men(always wanted to remain a guy), Women(Always a gal no matter what), Gays( be gay and happy as always), Lesbians (less-boy-ians ), Whomsoever(all those who do not fall in any above MAN made category)…………my message to yourselves and itselves from the MYSELF (I love calling myself-MYSELF) is there is lot in the store ..But i am accessible only to the people who have lot of not so precious time in hand..

I hereby declare all the information declared above is not fictional and resemblence to all the characters living and dead is purely intentional.